Cupid Helps Out
by 554Laura
Summary: A short story written for Happy Bonehead as part of the Bonesology Valentine Gift Exchange. Booth, Brennan, and Aubrey try to figure out the Valentine's Day gift giving situation. And I don't own Bones...


_This is my story for the Bonesology Valentine's Day gift exchange. Happy Bonehead wanted Booth, Brennan, and Aubrey and a mystery...I hope this is what Happy had in mind! Happy Valentine's Day!_

"Hey, Booth...how about some lunch?" Aubrey stood in the doorway of Booth's office. "I'm kinda hungry."

"Hmmm? Oh, sorry, Aubrey. I was preoccupied I guess. What time is it?" Booth glanced at his watch. "Yeah, I guess we can go to lunch." Booth gathered his phone, keys, and jacket and rose from his desk. "Diner good for you?"

"Sure. Are you okay?" Aubrey studied Booth carefully. "You seem like you're upset or distracted by something."

Booth puffed out a small sigh, slightly annoyed with himself as he realized he hadn't hidden his feelings as well as he wanted. "Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking about stuff, I guess. No big deal. C'mon, let's go." They took the elevator down and strolled over to the diner.

Aubrey cast a wary eye at Booth as they sat down at the diner's lunch counter. His normally chatty friend had little to say on their walk over to the restaurant, and seemed to be lost in thought as they waited for their meal. Aubrey had tried to start a few conversations, but with no luck, so finally he gave up. Their meal came, and they ate in silence for a few minutes.

"Bones says you're Santa Claus, Aubrey." Booth glanced over to see Aubrey in mid bite of his hamburger.

"What?" Startled by the odd statement, Aubrey stared at Booth, trying to figure out what he meant. "Santa Claus? I think you've got your holidays mixed up, Booth. It's Valentine's Day coming up, not Christmas."

"Yeah, but here's the deal. Bones has been acting weird, you know….secretive. I walk into the kitchen and she ends her phone calls quickly. She's been spending a lot of time on the internet really late at night after I go to bed. She's shuffling papers around and pretending to be all innocent when I walk into the family room. You know, stuff like that. When she acted like that at Christmas, SURPRISE...a shiny new jet ski showed up in my garage. She said Santa helped her, and she sort of indicated you were Santa."

"Okay...I still don't know what we're talking about." Aubrey grimaced slightly. "I mean, maybe I helped a bit with the jet ski thing, but you liked it, right? So what's the problem? I don't have any idea what's she's doing for your Valentine's Day gift…."

Booth drummed his fingers on the counter nervously. "I wonder if she's pregnant...although she'd probably tell me if she thought she was…."

"I definitely didn't help her with that, Booth." Aubrey chuckled a little bit until he caught Booth's glare. "A joke...it was a joke. Maybe she's arranging a gift for you for Valentine's Day, but she didn't ask me to do anything for her, okay? But why is it a problem anyway? A gift like that is supposed to be a surprise, right?"

"Well, you know, I gotta make sure I get her something as nice as she gets me. Bones says guys have this 'anthropological imperative' to show off for other guys when they buy gifts for women because it's like they're laying claim on them...kinda like marking our territory."

"That's kinda silly, isn't it? I mean, Dr. B always likes what you get her, right? And she already knows that she's part of your territory, so why worry about it? Maybe once in awhile you should let her be the one to buy a nice gift for you, right? She might like that...like she's marking you as part of her territory."

"Yeah, I guess." Booth took a sip of his coffee before glancing over at Aubrey. "What are you gonna get Jessica for Valentine's Day?"

"Nothing….she said she didn't want a gift." Aubrey nodded as he ate his hamburger. "She's practical like that. She says she doesn't need anything."

"C'mon, Aubrey...you've dated enough women to know that's not what she really means. She may say she doesn't need or want anything, but I bet you can find something she likes…."

"Booth, that's what she said...no gifts…"

"Maybe that's what she said, but that's not what she meant. That's also an anthropology thingy. Bones explained that to me, too. Women think they should tell their husbands or boyfriends they don't want anything because it makes the men feel like they're not providing adequately for their women if the women have to make suggestions about gifts for special occasions. On the other hand, the type of gift a woman receives for Valentine's Day after she tells the man she doesn't want a gift establishes her status among her peers. Women judge each other by the gifts they receive from their partners. So they either want things to show off, like big bunches of flowers or jewelry, or romantic stories to tell about what they did or where they went for Valentine's Day."

Aubrey stared at Booth a few seconds, chewing his fries as he processed the bizarre information he'd just heard. "You're kidding, right? Seriously...that's just anthropology mumbo-jumbo, right?"

Booth laughed as he ate a bite of pie. "Pretty much, but trust me...you gotta get at least a little something for Jessica, or she'll be unhappy, and you'll be sorry, if you know what I mean….."

"So what do I get for her, Booth? I mean, I don't even know what to call our relationship…more than friends, less than a couple...what kind of gift goes with that?"

"Flowers usually work…"

"She's allergic to most flowers…."

"Go to a movie? Find a chick flick…"

"We go to movies a lot, but mostly science fiction…."

"Earrings? A nice dinner at her favorite restaurant? A tee shirt from her favorite sports team?"

Aubrey shook his head. Nothing Booth suggested seemed to be the right thing. "What did you get Dr. B for Valentine's Day when you were first dating?"

"Well, we didn't exactly date in the traditional sense of the word...but she gave me a really great gift one year. I had just broken up with my girlfriend right before Valentine's Day, and I was feeling really down, so I was shooting up valentine's cards at the gun range, and Bones borrowed some tommy guns from the Jeffersonian for us to use….we shot up a bunch of frilly cards and stuff like that. It was great…." Booth wore a happy smile thinking about that evening.

Aubrey looked at Booth like he was crazy. "You shot up valentines, and it was great? Okay…."

Booth laughed as he turned back to his meal. "I guess you had to be there to get it. The point is that Bones knew I was upset, and she knew me well enough to think of something that would take my mind off of the things that upset me. You need to think of something Jessica likes. You know, something that lets her know that you listen to her."

"She says she misses ice skating...I guess when she was a little girl the kids at the cooperative where she lived used to go to a rink close by."

"There you go….rent an ice rink for an hour or two, and get them to play some romantic music. Bring a bottle of wine and some chocolate, and you're set."

"So what are you gonna get Dr. B, Booth?"

"I'm not sure yet. That's why I was trying to pump you for information about what she got me, but you're absolutely no help." Booth smiled as he nodded for the waitress to bring them more coffee. "I'm thinking about a weekend at this bed and breakfast in Cape Hatteras...her dad can watch the kids, and we can spend some quality time together. She likes it there…"

"That sounds good. I guess I'd better use my imagination to find something for Jess...although I like the skating rink idea…."

"Good. Let me know how it works out."

oooooooooo

Brennan sat at her desk, eating her salad as she worked on her case files when her phone chimed, alerting her that she had a text.

 _BOOTH HAS NO IDEA. SECRET SAFE. ALL TICKETS ARRANGED. HOTEL A GO. MEET ME AT DINER 2 PM._

Brennan smiled to herself. Excellent. Aubrey had certainly turned out to be quite a valuable asset. She was glad she had him on her side.

 _2 PM C U THEN._

She quickly put her phone away as her husband entered her office. "Hello, Booth. What are you doing here? I decided to eat lunch here today, remember?"

"Can't a man come see his wife if he wants?" Wearing a cocky grin, he walked in and sat down on the sofa. "So, any news on the Lombardi case?"

"Not yet." Brennan glanced at her watch. 1:30. She had two options: get Booth to leave in fifteen minutes, or try to text Aubrey that she'd be late without Booth knowing what was going on. "I said I'd call you. I don't want to waste your time."

"How is visiting the world's foremost and most beautiful forensic anthropologist a waste of my time?" He twitched his eyebrows at her. "I've been thinking about you this afternoon. I was telling Aubrey about going to the shooting range on Valentine's Day a few years ago, and it made me feel like I wanted to spend time with my wife." Booth's sultry tone of voice and his charm smile gave every indication of what he wanted to do as he spent time with his wife.

Brennan smiled demurely as she glanced at her watch. "I really need to get some work done now, because I have to leave in a few minutes to run some errands. However, we can spend some quality time together this evening." She looked up at him, arching her eyebrow as she licked her lips. Wearing a flirty smile, she rose from her chair and settled on the sofa next to her husband. "If I leave now to do my errands, I can go by the lingerie shop and pick up some of that vanilla musk massage oil you like so much…"

Booth pulled his wife close and kissed her. "Maybe I can go with you and help you pick out some other things….you know, some new lingerie items? Then we can have an early Valentine's Day celebration this evening."

She batted her eyelashes as she ran her hand across his cheek. "It's more fun when I surprise you, isn't it? I'm usually bolder in my lingerie choices than you are anyway. I promise...no flannel nightgowns. You'll be really happy if you let me choose…" She ran her finger across his lips as he started to protest. "Trust me, Booth...you'll like it."

Feeling slightly disconcerted about his wife's odd behavior, Booth pouted a bit before he finally nodded in agreement. "Okay….I'll see you tonight. Love you." He kissed her again.

"I"m looking forward to it. I love you, too. Bye." Brennan practically pushed Booth out of her office. She laughed as she quickly texted Aubrey to tell him she was on the way. She found having a secret to be quite enjoyable. She threw her phone in her purse and ran out the office door to keep her appointment.

oooooooooo

A few evenings later Booth brought Brennan a glass of wine and, carrying a glass of Scotch for himself, he comfortably settled next to her on the sofa in their living room. The lights were low, and there was a fire flickering in the fireplace. Brennan nestled next to her husband, enjoying the quiet evening. "I'm excited about going to Cape Hatteras, Booth. I'm really looking forward to the dolphin tour."

"Yeah, it'll be great. I gotta say, Bones...my gift is wonderful. Going to see the Flyers play the Rangers in New York City will be great, and then a night in a nice hotel with my favorite person makes it all that much better." Booth took a sip of his Scotch. "I'm trying to figure out how you pulled it off, though...I didn't notice any charges on our credit card statements or our bank statements…."

"I saved some cash and gave it to my friend Cupid, and he made the purchases for me. It's quite convenient to have someone like that around."

"Aubrey helped you with this, too? You wait 'til I see him….he told me he had no idea what you were getting me for Valentine's Day…..I call liar, liar pants on fire…."

"Liar, liar, pants on fire? Is that some sort of strange church chant?" Brennan smirked as she pretended to be annoyed.

"It's just that I pumped him for information at lunch the other day and he wouldn't budge. He didn't tell me a damn thing. He kept everything so mysterious, and now I'm really annoyed because I can't tell if he's telling the truth or not." Booth sat for a minute watching the fire. "I guess it's worth it, though. I'm really excited about going to Madison Square Garden to watch the game…"

"I knew you'd approve. Of course, you really have no proof that Aubrey was my Cupid. It could have been Ms. Warren or Angela instead."

"What? I'm pretty sure it was Aubrey and not Angela or Ms. Warren. Angela can't keep a secret as well as Aubrey, and Jessica's way too busy. Aubrey's the sneaky type…..I bet he'd be great going undercover." Booth grinned as he took another sip of his Scotch. "He's taking Ms. Warren ice skating tonight. Guess who suggested that?"

"Was it my very romantic husband?" Brennan smiled at how pleased he was with himself. "Are you playing Cupid for Aubrey and Jessica, Booth?"

"Maybe a little bit…" Booth shrugged and put his arm around his wife. "I finally figured out how to be happy in a relationship, and I thought I'd help him out with some advice. He deserves to be as happy with her as I am with you."

"I love you, Booth...Happy Valentine's Day…." Brennan gently kissed her husband's lips.

"I love you, too, Bones." He pulled her close and nibbled her ear. "Hey...you know what I'm thinking?"

Brennan laughed. "Massage oil and new lingerie? Race you to the bedroom…Winner gets the first massage…." She giggled as she jumped off the sofa and ran toward the hall leading to their room.

"Oh, no you don't…." Booth took off after her. "You got a head start...come back here and play fair….C'mon, Bones..."


End file.
